Life rarely goes exactly the way we intend. We can have the best plans and set ourselves up to succeed in every way we can control and yet, sometimes things just don’t work out.
Disappointment is something we all face and will face again. There are times when it is insignificant and times when it is truly heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this is life. A bad medical report is utterly unconcerned with how you feel about it. Sometimes the people that we are closest to will let us down the most.
Life happens, and it’s up to you to decide how to face disappointment or the unexpected struggle. It’s up to you to decide how you’ll react and respond.
1. Remember that worrying doesn’t solve the problem
Worrying means that you suffer twice. For the most part, what is going to happen is going to happen.
When I was a smart-mouthed teenager and thought I knew everything, I used to say, “Show me someone who has profited from worrying and maybe I will take it up.”
I’ve evolved since then thankfully. Today, I realize that as parents, people in relationships, or people just living in this world, there are things that will preoccupy our minds. Sometimes, it seems like we cannot help thinking about them, or always imagining the worst.
However, remember that worrying about a problem has never solved a problem. Taking a breath and putting steps in place to solve the problem is the only way we’ll be able to get through it.
2. Embrace what “IS”
I do realize, as I’m sure you do too, that embracing was “IS” takes me out of the moment. Every moment spent thinking about something that COULD happen is a moment taken away from embracing what IS happening.
I’ve learned over the course of my life that I cannot always control if someone is going to let me down, break my heart, not show up when they say they will, not be as committed as they claimed they’d be, or not even live as long as they’d promised. That’s a hard pill to swallow, I know. How do I cope with this reality?
I believe it is far more healthy and productive to focus on the things we can actually control.
The only thing I can control is my response to a situation. It’s easy to fall into dark pits where we feel helpless and full of anger, pain, and despair, but when we do, we are only hurting ourselves.
Holding a grudge or negative feelings is like holding a burning coal to throw at someone. The only thing getting hurt is your hand.
3. Be the best version of yourself
I don’t know your spiritual/religious affiliations. I don’t know if you believe in “God’s plan”, fate or even the “way of the Force.” But, I do know that no matter what, you have a duty to yourself and those around you to always be the absolute best version of yourself that you can possibly be, as long as you are in this life.
Holding onto the past can only be an anchor that drags us deeper into darkness. This should not be confused with suppressing your feelings or pretending that nothing affects you. You’re living a lie if you do that. Don’t ever be afraid to feel. But don’t get stuck in those feelings. Don’t let them define you.
Just as it’s dangerous to only be happy when things are going your way, it’s also dangerous to let negative circumstances keep you from being who you truly are.
Ultimate peace is within you. But it is not within your mind. It is beyond your mind and still within you.
Thoughts, grudges and too much sentiment are enemies trying to take you astray. The elements of the mind get in the way and cloud the pursuit of our center. There are so many of these things that can lead you down the wrong road and if you start down that path, it can be hard to correct.
Thankfully, there’s only one way to get back and if you are reading this, then you already know it. You must discipline your mind and go within. I stand by the notion that of all of the remedies, medicines, and help you will ever need is within you..
4. Look within
It’s okay to let the disappointments and joys of life crash on you like waves on a beach. Sometimes the tide is high and it can feel overwhelming. Sometimes the tide is low with calm water. Either way, the beach is still the beach. Everything else is temporary.
Embrace everything about you and take control over the only thing you can: yourself and your focus on your path.